You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
