I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize