All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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