It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
