Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
