I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
