i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
