Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
