You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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