Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
