Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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