Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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