i permit you to call me
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Randomize
