Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
