Porn is love you can see.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
