Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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