It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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