the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
it's like iHOP with fire
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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