It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Randomize
