You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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