I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
