Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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