I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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