The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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