Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Randomize
