Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
