I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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