It's like God shit irony all over that family
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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