capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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