And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
