my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
