We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Small penises have feelings too.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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