I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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