We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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