Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i jhust puked up my retainher.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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