Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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