im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Randomize
