when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
