he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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