What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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