Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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