4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
