Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
