I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Sorry about my life...
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
