We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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