the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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