Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
