"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
