No awkward lesbian experiences without me
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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