I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
