dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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